Bartending 101- The Unholy Trinity of Zombies

I am beyond bored of Zombies in movies, books and on TV.

28 Days Later (and, to a certain extent, The Last Of Us) rose the genre to a new level, and nothing has come close since. So I just don't bother.

Zombies, as cocktails though, that's a whole other ballgame. Loads of fruit juice, loads of rum, and the most over-the-top garnishes possible. They are the absolute business.

Which is why, rather than give you one recipe for one drink here, you’re getting three for the price of one! Bargain!

All zombies follow the same principles- several rums, lemon and lime juice, grapefruit and pineapple. The changes tend to be in ratios and quite how many rums you end up using.

I grade these drinks by strength- starting with the softer, friendlier and straight-up less alcoholic version, through the classic, onto the mother of all zombies that will definitely get you there. I’m still not sure whether I’m actually allowed to put this much alcohol in one drink, but I guess we’ll see. So, to begin-

Entry-level - 28 Minutes Later

This is fairly easy to make, with far fewer ingredients. Not as strong, definitely sweeter than the others and just an all-round friendly and happy drink.

Ingredients

35ml black rum- Goslings for best results

15ml curacao or orange liqueur of choice (for once, Marnier’s probably not the way to go as it’s a bit too rich)

25ml lemon & 25ml lime juice

25ml grapefruit juice

50ml pineapple juice

10-15ml grenadine to float on top

Method

Shake all but the grenadine over ice. Strain into a loaded highball. Top with the grenadine to let it bleed through the drink. A couple of straws, a chunk of pineapple and grapefruit, and you’re done.

A-level - Zombie Classic

Now we're playing with fire. This is a seriously spirit-heavy drink, but with the right balance of ingredients this is still a very pleasant and incredibly drinkable concoction.

Ingredients

15ml black - Goslings again

15ml white rum - Bacardi Blanco

15ml gold rum - Bacardi Oro

10ml Curacao or Cointreau

25ml lemon juice

25ml lime juice

35ml grapefruit juice

50ml pineapple juice

10ml orgeat

10ml Wray and Nephew overproof rum for lime hull

Method

There’s a lot in this. Get a big glass, again ideally a highball or tiki glass, fill it with rocks ice and set aside. Shake all ingredients over ice and strain into your glass. Hull half a lime, pour in a little over proof rum and light the mixture (note-always put in straws after you've put out the flames. Burning or melted bits of plastic in your drink do not add to the quality, trust me).

For added theatrical effect, get a pinch of cinnamon powder and drizzle it through the flame- it’ll spark up immediately and give the drink an almost magical quality. Well worth doing. Blow out flames, add your straws and any other garnish (pineapple leaves are always a hit), and serve.

Mad Bastard (tm) level -The Baron Samedi

*not actually tm

This is actually in a pint glass, as I couldn't find another glass big enough to do it justice. I’d almost recommend this as a sharing cocktail given the amount in it, but the particularly brave amongst us will definitely appreciate it.

Ingredients

10ml white rum- Bacardi Blanco

10ml black rum - Goslings

10ml gold rum - Bacardi Oro

10ml 5 or 7 year old rum - Havana 7yo

10ml gold spiced rum - Morgans or Sailor Jerry

10ml black spiced rum - The Kraken

10ml Curacao

10ml orgeat

25ml lime juice

25ml lemon juice

35ml grapefruit juice

60ml pineapple juice

10ml Wray and Nephew overproof rum (for lime hull)

Method

This drink is probably one of the most involved ones I’ve ever created, with a frankly ridiculous amounts of ingredients (eight spirits definitely isn't excessive).

Load a tankard or stein glass (available from Ikea) with rocks ice.

Add all to a big shaker (definitely a tin on tin shaker for this one, this is not one that will suffer a weaker glass) and shake thoroughly over ice. Strain into glass, add a few splashes of bitters. Add your garnish- leaves, grapefruit and finally your lime hull, top with overproof rum and light. Drizzle cinnamon through the flame for effect, blow out, add straws and serve.

And as a final thought-

There’s nowhere near enough P&R or Office memes on this site. Need to fix that ASAP.